"Guide" to Feelings
guide to feelings
Well, haven't written anything for quite some time,
but that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking.
:)
A new, well, not so new and really not original thought came to my
mind the other day. What really constitutes attraction between two
human beings? What determines whether we are attracted to someone or
not? It can't be the pheromones activity only, as I am sure you all agree.
When is it that we decide that we like somebody?
Is it just the looks? Apparantly not, although it might be the case,
for the more primitive among us. Personality? A combination of the two?
Maybe. Personality, I feel, is too broad of an issue, and details are more
important here. What makes up personality, specific parts of personality
that interest each and every part of us, is that it?
Is that what determines the attraction and the drifting together?
Or is there something involved? How about, the degree of one's desperation,
or maybe even lonelyness? Some, weaker people, are willing to compromise more and more, as they stay alone longer. I find it a wrong solution,
since, with time, if a relationship occurs, and you compromised simply because you didn't want to be alone, all the compromises you made, "out of necessity" will come back at you, and you will wonder why have you started a relationship with this person anyways?! Of course, not all cases end this way, you might fall inlove with your partner, which in its turn may obscure your vision of reality even more, or it may be the true love you have been looking for, which is really not that probable.
Basically, it's really simpler than it looks: in the event of a good first impression and some really basic animal attraction, most of us are willing to make compromises and forgive little things, just to get to know the person. You can call it love at first sight, and what not, but it doesn't change the basic structure.
There is no magic to it, indeed. If you like someone's appearance, and you are not "experienced" and not a very good judge of personality, your hormones pump up, you feel light headed and call it inflatuation or what not. With time, you will learn more about your choice, and you will either grow to hate the "compromises" or love the choice.:) In either case,
it all boils down to nature, instincts and good judgement.
With time, and experience, you will or should learn to "see" people better,
since appearances may be (and usually are) misleading. Or maybe you won't, I guess it depends on whether you want to learn or not.
The truth is that inflatuation or "inlove" gazes you and you are not really inlove with the person but with the feelings, and it's just a waste. Probably of yourself. So be smart.
A saying comes to mind: "When a woman's inlove for the first time, she adores her man, in the rest of the cases she adores the love";)
Think about why.
:)
Cheers,
and have a great Millenium!:)